32 weeks pregs

Also noteworthy, I'm 32+ weeks pregnant and feeling large and in charge.

But first I want to make a PSA to the world: Do not ever, ever, ever, EVER tell a pregnant woman (or any woman, for that matter) that she is HUGE. Just don't. Is it really that hard to keep your mouth shut? Because OMF it sure seems that way. Related, do not ask her if she is sure there aren't twins in there. Really? REALLY?! I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE NECK. Except I won't and then I will think about how I wish that I had said something to stand up for myself and my body for way too long after the exchange. Like days. Like I'm still thinking about it. Because you know what? YOU ARE NOT TINY. And you aren't growing a PERSON inside of you.

Okay I feel (somewhat) better. I should also mention that I honestly don't think I'm that big. I mean, I'm pregnant. I look pregnant. And I'm the size I was when I gave birth last time...so I've got that going for me. But with Millie I never got huge huge and people always commented about how small I was which I didn't love either. But that's better than having strangers tell you that you're huge. It's shocking that people feel like they can say WHATEVER to a pregnant person. Like we don't have enough SHIT going on inside. If you want to say anything, say "You look great!" Or, in case they/we don't just say, "Congratulations!" Actually, I think those are the only two allowances. Pass it on.

SO. Yeah. 32w5d and apparently I am a little testy. This pregnancy has been so different than my first. I am still feeling fairly good, considering. I'm sleeping well, eating well (although I still get full super fast), peeing quite a bit, still exercising--mainly yoga and kettleballs, feeling lots of movement, etc. But I also have the lovely vericose vein issue, stretch marks (from last time and maybe some more...womp womp), braxton hicks, heartburn (but not too bad), candy-cravings, afternoon lethargy, and slow-moving-ness typical of the third trimester. It also takes me quite a while to actually get comfortable in bed and usually sleeping on my right side is more comfortable than my left (tsk tsk) but DEWAI. The baby seems strong and active (a lot) so I think we'll be okay.

We've been preparing and nesting and I pretty much love this part. Getting rid of shit is the BEST. And so is organizing. LOVE IT. I have a feeling that we're going to feel pretty cramped in here in the next couple of months, but we will make it work. Because that is what we do. And well, we have to.

We are planning another home birth and decided to also bring a doula onto the team this time around. Ideally, I'd love to actually make it into the pool this time too. Time (literally) will tell. I've (finally) started to read some birth-related books and I'm getting excited about the whole thing again. It's obviously different this time because I actually know how painful it can be. But I also know how magical of an experience it is. I am making some goals for myself, so we'll see how it goes. We are just getting so excited to meet this person. Building and growing a family is such a blessing. A challenging, character-building, life-changing blessing. Let's DO THIS. (In 5 or more weeks.)

Big Girl Bed

Guess who's officially in a big girl bed? Yes that's right--Amelia Lee. We did it. More like, she did it. She's blown us away with her big-girl-bed-transition. It's been shocking, really. I was thinking that it was either going to be a slow, painful, sleepless night kinda thing or a breeze. And thankfully it's been the latter! We had been having major going-to-bed issues for the past several way too long weeks/months. Like delay tactics up the wazoo, fussing, whining, and even high-pitched screaming at bedtime. Every time. And it was wearing on me big time. Anyway, we're 3 weeks in and we are back to peaceful bedtime routines with hugs and kisses and no fuss. She doesn't even get out of bed and terrorize her room (who suggested that might happen, GEEZ?) and she CAN get out. She gets up and down with no problem but mostly just when we're playing in her room during the day.

Her favorite thing to  do it to look out the window. It's pretty adorable. She'll be all snuggled up under the covers while we're reading/singing/etc. and then as soon as we leave she is up and peeking out. It's like she has to check out the driveway haps before she can rest. Makes sense, really. Since getting her big girl bed she has also dropped down to only one lovey--Henry--in bed with her. He must be there for stories too...we can't start without him. And he must gets hugs and kisses too. Clearly.

Oh and the other thing since getting in a big bed? She remembers and tells us about her dreams when she wakes up. It's HILARIOUS. So far most have involved a cat. A cat driving a car, a cat chasing a mouse, a cat kissing Daddy, and then this afternoon it was about a baby bird sleeping. So awesome. 

While she's in underwear during the day, she is still wearing pull-ups/diapers at nap and bedtime mainly due to her sippy-cup-in-bed addiction. But she does get thirsty in the night and I'm just not ready to take it away yet. She cries out for more if hers is empty (we've tried gradually putting less and less water in to "wean" her off it) in the middle of the night, so I know she really needs it (right now). She also doesn't have 100% dry underwear all the time (yet) so we're still working on the potty training thing but we're rolling with it. When I hear about kids who just "got it" and never have ANY accidents I kinda don't believe their parents but I guess it's possible. I just thought my child was a GENIUS in EVERY and ALL things but I guess she needs to be practicing her kegels. (Too far?)

Anyway! All in all we are exceedingly pleased with how the bed thing has gone. So yay Mills! Here are some (blurry) phone pics from her very first night...because that's how I roll these days. BIG GIRL!

Two and a Half

Girl is officially two and a half. For some reason this seems exceedingly old to me. She is learning so much and at such an alarming rate. She "gets" things. Like, really really understands things I say and what they mean. And her memory is a steel trap. If I mention doing something {in a few hours, tomorrow, next week, etc.}, it best be happening.

She's just started enjoying movies...which is both positive and negative, I suppose. Her "faborite faborite" movie is Toy Story. She picked it out herself as her special prize for keeping her underwear dry 15 times. {Yes, potty training is still a work-in-progress but she is doing great!} She gets so excited when she sees Buzz or Woody or whomever else she actually recognizes. And honestly, I like it so much better than Elmo. {Sorry, Elmo.}

She loves listening to her own music..."my music." Her favorite is definitely "We are the Dinosaurs," but "Wheels on the Bus" and "Itsy Bitsy" are still pretty dope in her book. She used to like MY music, but now not so much. She is demanding. And adamant. And dances to her music, so we deal. {Or I deal I should say...it seems to seriously drive Brad insane.}

She continues to play well independently and often tells me to leave so she can "do it myself!" Including much of the bathroom routine. I watch proudly from the crack in the door as she really can do it by herself! Stools help. She likes to play in my bathroom cupboard but always puts everything back where it belongs, so I don't mind much. "What's this?" and "What's that?" are the most common phrases heard in our household, I'm fairly certain. Also: "where you going?" and "what you doing?" She speaks in full-on sentences but still can't pronounce her "L's" and mixes up some other letters, adorably so.

She's fascinated by stop signs and LOVES pointing them out. I recently taught her about yield signs and now that's another favorite to spot. School buses (or any kind of bus) are the coolest things ever. Trains and planes and motorcycles too.

Resisting sleep is still going strong. For probably a year now she has laid in bed awake, seemingly pondering her day, for sometimes upwards of an hour. And it seemed like she just needed that downtime. She would still go to bed easily and stay quiet but awake. FINE. But lately it is more like two hours. And she has combined it with every delay tactic you can think of and maybe some yelling and screaming thrown in there. And throwing things. It's awful. Bedtime used to be a breeze. And even enjoyable. But it's been months since I could say that. For some reason, she doesn't always put up such a fight when Brad puts her down and I REALLY want to know his technique. It sometimes makes it better when we go back in and accommodate her, but sometimes it makes it way, way worse, so I'm kind of a loss. I dread bedtime. And that makes me sad. So much negotiating with these tiny people!

She has a new friend at school that she made all by herself. She talks about her at home and everything. It makes her seem so grown up. And now when I ask her what she did when I pick her up from school she (occasionally) tells me! Real details! They're typically hard to decipher but we try.

Her current favorite toys include: dinosaurs, her babies (and their clothes, bottles, blankets), dollhouse, bean bin, tea set, blocks, magnetic dress-up dolls, puzzles, gifts bags she uses as purses to "put stuff in," pull toys (frog, alligator), crayons, school bus, and her tricycle. 

She still loves the beach and LOVES swimming now. We got a new float and it's awesome. It's nice to have the beach so close, but I wouldn't mind having some cooler temperatures...any day now.

She's about 25 lbs, which is still quite a lightweight but she's our long and lean girl. She likes to dress herself and still insists on wearing "comfy clothes" for naps. She still likes a million blankets and allllll of her "friends" to be in bed with her.

She loves counting things...usually there are TWO of everything {"I'm two!"} but also three, five, or ten. She sings A LOT. But mostly in bed. Her usuals: ABCs, twinkle twinkle, itsy bitsy, the ever-popular happy birthday song. She reads books to herself--usually while doing her business (ahem). Going on a Bear Hunt and Five Little Monkeys are the tops.

Whenever I talk about our baby, she's not all that interested except to note that she has her own baby growing in her belly. But the other day she wanted to say HI to the baby, so I took that as a good sign. We do talk about how she is going to be a big sister and be mama's helper when the baby comes. We read her Big Sister book (when she picks it) but overall I'm just trying to find the balance of not making a big deal out of it, but still talking about it regularly. I'm a wee bit nervous about the whole transition for her, but people do this all the time so I know it's going to be okay.

The girl can throw a mean fit. Like raging her face off fit. I have to remind myself that she has a lot of BIG feelings inside that little body and sometimes they just need to come out. I always always always feel better when I stay calm and in control of the situation, so that is my goal. Although holy wow can it be challenging.

WELL. There is the little miss in a nutshell. A very large, very long nutshell. Since I never kept up with an actual baby book, this is it. DEAL WITH IT.

All in all, I love that little monkey. Even when she cries when I come to pick her up from other people's houses and she screams, MOMMY NO. Even then.

"I'm two."

Ever since she turned two, Millie can tell me/you/anyone who cares that she's two years old. And sometimes she will tell you that she will be three. You know, next year. She can basically carry on a conversation and understands mostly everything we are talking about (Bradley and I do a lot of spelling these days). But she does not perform-on-demand...she speaks when she chooses. Otherwise she's a mute. She tells stories (that I can usually grasp) and makes up songs (or asks me to) and imagines her own little world. Where she is the boss, of course. 

She's started to wear big girl underwear and (mostly) uses the toilet. It's pretty incredible. And also can be incredibly frustrating. It probably was not the smartest idea to start the training one week before our Michigan/Chicago adventures. We're getting there. "I hafta pee" is the newest bedtime delay tactic. But we are so proud of her. And she is proud of herself, which is the most important part.

She is silly and persistent and reserved and wild and has a mind ALLLL her own. She has hair, too. Which is also wild. She likes to play with her tea set, color, play with her bean bin, go to the beach, swim, paint, look at pictures on my phone (mostly of herself), take care of her babies, go for bike rides, read books, play pianos, play cars, eat baked goods, play hide-and-seek, dress and undress her babies and put them to sleep, eat snacks, go for walks to the park, "stay home," run errands, stand on chairs/couches/stools, see what we're doing, walk up and down stairs solo, exclaim, "I DO IT," smell oils, drink out of a big glass, brush hair, sing happy birthday (still), talk about being a big sister (and tell me that there is a baby growing in HER belly too), get m&m's for doing her business, fill containers, jump on beds, pick out her own clothes, carry her bag, etc. 

Some of her favorite phrases include: where you going, what you doing, DO IT, five more minutes, one more blanket (STILL), my _____ hurts, I'm running!, I need my mama (when I am RIGHT THERE), Millie's turn, I wake up!, salt water, I like this, I be right back (usually said quietly with a finger up), I wanna play something, help me, I NEED that, daddyO (still going strong), that's so silly, and so much more. 

She's my favorite and I tell her all the time. You know, when I'm not about to pull my hair out. But she really is my favorite thing. My buddy. My sweet. She knows what she wants and when she wants it and tries with all her might to get it. She is persistent and thoughtful and funny and serious and gives the absolute best hugs around.

 

I've been absolutely horrible about taking pictures with my real camera lately, so these iPhone pics will have to do. These are from our recent trips in Michigan. Good times, Great Lakes.

Tilly and the beanSSS

Well, just one "S."

That's right folks, there is another bean on the way! Probably a pinto bean since I have been craving Mexican food since pretty much day 1. Even when I could barely eat a thing, I wanted tacos, burritos, salsa, etc. etc. And I still do. Actually, that's not all that different from regular old life. But anyway.

The details!
I'm just about 17 weeks along (tomorrow), so the expected arrival is sometime the first week of December. I think it's pretty cool that the babe will have a 12/12 birthday of sorts. I like symmetry. This time the first trimester completely, fully, and wholly beat my ass. On a daily basis. I was a total mess. I mean, I know it could've been way worse, but apparently I'm much wimpier than I thought because I was kinda miserable. Even though I wasn't actually getting sick, I just felt tired and listless and nauseous and just plain yuck for like 5 weeks straight. I had some up moments, but overall I had the sickness. But no worries--I'm back to normal now! I eat, I exercise, I leave the house, I talk to people. You know, normal healthy people things.

Because this pregnancy is so different that with Millie, we are forced to speculate that it's a boy. You know with all the boy hormones and boy parts and stuff. But, as you may recall, I also thought that Millie was a boy and we all know how wrong I was about that. So who knows! We won't know until the little tito makes his/her grand entrance.

I have been jotting little notes when I remember to, but clearly not as detailed as the first time around. Oh! And another MAJOR difference is that I'm basically showing. Already. I mean, not really but kinda. There is definitely a belly poking out. I'm patiently (or not-so-patiently) waiting for it to round out and look like a pregnant belly bump instead of a fatty watermelon pouch. But I basically look now at 4+ months how I looked with Mills at 6+months. So there that is.

My notes (no pressure to read this...mostly for my own crazy self):

4w
-found out that baby was growing!
-felt mostly normal
-metal taste in mouth one day
-just knew
-took preg test--negative--but took it too early
-tired
-took another test--POSITIVE

5w
-sleepy in the middle of the day
-emotional
-a bit of food aversion (make something awesome but can only eat two/three bites)
-slight boob tenderness
-kinda scared to lose you but trying to trust/have faith
-decided to wait to tell people (even family) until we hear heart beat
-zumba was HARD
-started running again

6w
-suuuuuper sleepy (especially in the middle of the day)
-tender breasts (most days and in the middle of the night)
-hard to eat during the day but breakfast and dinner seem ok mostly
-wanting dessert

7w
-sick sick sick sick--all day nauseous!
-forcing food down
-random food cravings (bbq potato chips, ice cream, root beer)
-no exercise (boo)
-and yes, boobs still tender

8w
-saw baby and heart beat!!
-measuring 7w5d which is great
-169 hb
-still have the sickness
-midwife said 8w is the peak of sickness

9w
-still feeling sick and no energy
-starting to eat more regular stuff
-sleeping pretty well
-met with new home birth midwife but it was too early to hear hb with doppler
-trying to eat a little something frequently
-trying to eat something if/when wake up in night...apples are SAVING ME
-days straight on couch
-NO energy
-dinner party for BJN birthday! Made everything from scratch! Didn't pass out!
-went to Montessori gala and then HISB at crawfish fest--worn out all Sunday but still made it to the beach

10w
-starting to feel better!
-eating meals, lots of fruit
-more energy but still no real exercise
-really want to be eating better for this baby
-mother's day weekend--B is doing ALL meals and ALL bedtimes!

11w
-still not feeling that great but starting to eat more normal
-get starving and HAVE TO EAT immediately
-going on walks/bike rides
-morning smoothies are back!

12w
-prenatal yoga! completely wiped me out afterward
-have gained 1lb
-eating normally--salads and smoothies and even fish tacos!
-friends visited for Memorial Day weekend!
-still having certain cravings
-lots of apples, fruit, iced decaf  coffees (obsessed)
-feeling almost back to normal--YAY

13w
-exercising full on again!
-eating normal!
-more energy but still liking to try to nap or at least lie down in the afternoon while M naps
-worked all week long at MSP

14w
-second tri!
-feeling normal, eating normal, exercising normal (pilates, yoga, cardio)
-B went to Chicago--just me and Mills
-had a rough weekend solo--torrential downpours trapped us at home
-think I might be starting to feel some baby flutters but not sure

15w
-worked out 5x!
-first time for sure baby kicks: 15w3d
-went to a super fun party and stayed out late and even had few sips of wine spritzer
-feeling good
-weird peeing maybe because of my tilted ute
-craving lettuce! and veg!
-eating a LOT it seems but prob not too much...just in comparison
-bought maternity clothes because I NEED them
-belly growing quicker
-3 lbs gained so far
-tired but sleeping is restless at times and peeing lots in the night

16w
-still eating, working out, feeling normal
-peeing less in the night but allergies act up in the middle of the night...no bueno
-preparing for our big road trip to MI/Chi
-took M to the local pool
-potty training! (deserves it's own post)
-feeling large--nothing fits or looks good
-big storm supposed to be on its way but it never really comes


And we're up to date!

And a couple pictures (like the only ones I've taken in the past 4 months) of Millie for good measure:

 And yes, apparently I am still obsessed with stripes.

Two+1month

Or 23 months. If we were still counting in months. But we're NOT. So, at two plus one month Millie is quite the character. We've had so many changes and transitions and adjustments and new things going on in our lives lately. In her life.

She started "school" a few weeks ago {first day of school pic above}. As in, I drop her off and she stays there by herself. Without me. For 3 1/2 hours. Two times a week. I wouldn't say it's been "traumatic," but it kinda has. For me. She seems okay with it. Although last week she said she didn't want to go both mornings {Home! No school!} and cried when we got to the parking lot and was a little weepy when I left. But this morning? She waved goodbye. So I'm pretty sure she's transitioning well. Me on the other hand...I'm a bit of a mess without her! I feel guilty about leaving her. And I miss my errand buddy. I mean, she's only TWO. She's still a baby! But not really. Because she's getting so big and independent and even pooping on the toilet {occasionally}. She is fairly quiet at school I hear. That comes as no surprise, although I'm sure as she gets more and more comfortable with her teachers {she actually said iloveyoubye to Miss Amy last time} she will be more of her usual chatty-mcgee-self. Because at home there is a constant dialogue. It's like she is our own personal home reporter.



Some favorite phrases {that she's said today}:
-Mix it up
-Mama, tea party?
-My dress/shirt/hat/shoes... wearing it
-mailman!
-bean box!
-waking up!
-beans and rice
-mama do it/i/millie do it
-all done with this
-there it is!
-pizza! {for breakfast}
-yelp {milk}
-tutu-wawa {coconut water}
-when asked what her name is: "Amia"
-when asked how old she is: "two" while holding up two, maybe three fingers
-ABC's! {she can recognize most letters correctly and loves to sing the song}
-other shoe, get it
-mommy's phone, get it
-banket {blanket}--she says this in the middle of the night {grr!}
-she tries to sing "You are my sunshine" along with me and asks for it at bedtime {and sings it to her animal friends when she puts them to "night night"}
-goodnight mama/daddyO
-iloveyoubye
-HIDING! {she loves to hide}
-peetabo {peekaboo}
-more wawa peese
-millie's helmet
-go fast
-millie's sleeping
-yucky...trash...throw it in trash
-watch elmo {rarely happens}
-i see you
-elmo walk {she likes to put him in her baby stroller and take him for a walk around the neighborhood. it takes FOREVER. good times.}
-BEACH!
-she sings Happy Birthday Amia ALL DAY LONG.
-No _______!
-she can count to 13 {it usually goes 3,4,5,7,8,9,12,13}
-where subie go? see jeep?
-move the chair
-tink you {thank you}
-mooey chair/phone/cracker/cheese/wawa/etc. {millie's chair}
-etc. etc



As you can see, there is a lot of communication going on these days and I like it. Although, you know, she's two. So we still have a lot of meltdowns and a lot of acting out. I have to keep her nails short. But we're growing and learning and adapting and changing. All of us.



We also love love love the beach in this house. ALL of us. She asks to go to the beach ALL THE TIME. In fact, she asked when she woke up this morning. It was raining. But she loves to play in the sand and we are forced to fill buckets the whole time we are there. So she can dump them out. Or rinse off her hands in them. But mainly so she can dump them out. Immediately. More good times! We went to the beach on the bay side this weekend where it's calm and warmer and she can basically walk in. It stays shallow for quite a ways--so thrilling for her. She likes to chase the tide. And be chased by it. She likes to go fast and play rough and be tossed around. It's fun.

She loves to shake her little hips. Like this:


And some other stats:

-22 lbs {still a lightweight}
-18-24 or 24 month clothes
-sleeps 7ish-7ish but has been waking up lately asking for blankets {I'm trying to teach her how to pull them up herself.}
-she sleeps with at least three blankets {if you may have forgotten, we live in Florida and she wakes up SWEATY but she likes it so who knows}
-still hates to have her washed
-loves to be outside {OUTSIIIIIIIDE}
-has cuuuuuuurly brown hair and BIG brown eyes {my family genes dominate!}
-has a shockingly good sense of direction
-stopped sleeping with a "seep-sap" this month--wasn't as big of a deal as we thought but now we have the blanket issue...so, hmm.
-still a great {and healthy} eater despite what the scale says
-obsessed with "gasses" or "sunnies" {I probably haven't helped the cause since she owns 5 pairs}
-she loves big kids, especially all of her 6 cousins {but she's not the youngest anymore!}, and got to see all of them this past month


All in all, she's a spunky silly strong smart adorable shy assertive funny social special little girl. I think we'll keep her.

TWO

Miss Mills is now TWO years old. No more measuring her life in months. We're in years, buddy. She's kind of a big deal now, dontchaknow. She's even speaking in sentences. That is how much of a big deal she is. Yeah, she might misuse {or not use} proper nouns and prepositions, but DEWAI.

Here's a little video I made to commemorate her second year of being a part of our family and a part of this world. We couldn't imagine it any other way. She's the biggest blessing. She cracks us up. She makes us smile. She is the cutest little thing I ever did see. She is smart and sassy. And she gets it. Like, really really gets it. She astounds me. Challenges me. Entertains me. Hits, pinches, and kicks me. Feeds me. Squeezes me. Kisses me. Hugs me. Tickles me. Jumps on me. Amazes me. Bosses me. Shows me. Asks me. Befuddles me. Shares with me. Pulls me. Prods me. Scolds me. Holds me. Loves me.

Happy Second Birthday, Miss Amelia Lee.
Love you, love you, love you.

{I finally got the video to work but had to remove the video clips--total bummer. But still, here it is.}

deuce-deuce

Big changes are upon us and the little. Tomorrow we will be embarking on our biggest adventure yet. We are moving down south! {And just in time for Chicago's first snow storm--thanks Chicago, PREESH!} Anyway. Miss Mills is 22 months {and a week or so} old. That's almost two years old for the math-deficient. Which also means I can probably stop referring to her age in months. Big deal! No really it is! Does this mean I will stop posting {somewhat} monthly updates? Not sure. Guess we'll all have to wait and see. Pins and needles!

Back to Amelia Lee: She is a wild thing. She has hair {finally!}. She communicates fairly well and knows what I mean when I say, "Use your words." She sleeps well and eats well {finally!}. She likes people {especially her best friends Lola/Yaya, Bowen/Bubba, and Willie/WeeWee my parents dog}. She hugs and kisses. She laughs hysterically when you tickle her or hold her upside down or do something silly. I love to make her laugh. {And I love how easy it is.} She colors and draws and attempts to name colors. She counts {two and six, mostly}. She likes to sign songs {or for me to sing songs while she does the hand motions}. She likes down time. She likes to run and hop and jump. She likes to sit in Millie-sized chairs and at Millie-sized tables. She likes to push strollers and take care of babies {including undressing, dressing, feeding, rocking, soothing, etc.}. She likes to be held. She likes to jump on our bed/her bed. She likes to pretend to go to sleep {after saying, "night-night...bye...i love you"}. She likes to point out cars, trucks, tractors, buses, trains. She eats hummus with a spoon. She wakes up happy and plays in her crib {this is AMAZING and a new development}. She loves her mama and her daddyO {she calls Brad DaddyO and I die of the cuteness}. She loves dogs and cats and crouches beside them and attempts to pick them up. She hates getting her hair wet {still}. She loves her grandparents. She is obsessed with books {especially: Not a Box, Where the Wild Things Are, I am a Bunny, In the Garden, Everyone Poops, ABCs, and Go to Sleep, My Love}. She sleeps with like 17 babies/animals {really only 6}. She still wears a sleep sack {with the bottom opened up because she's too tall}. She calls it a "seep-sap." She has a flair for drama. She stares. She likes going to the gym daycare and sometimes ignores me when I arrive to pick her up and I have to go and physically get her {major burn}. She likes to be held and cuddled when she wakes up from her nap {1-3pm-ish}. She likes necklaces, sunglasses, and my engagement ring. She doesn't mind making a scene. She still talks about our Christmas Tree.

I hope this great transition goes smoothly for her little sensitive soul. She is learning new words every day. Lately I've been focusing on beach and sunshine. We can't wait.