Gender Wars

Lately I've been struggling a bit with the whole boy/girl issue. Of course, without a doubt, absolutely, what we want the mostest of the most is a healthy baby. DUH. We already adore the child madly and it's less than 1 1/2 inches long (FIG!). However, basically since we found out about the little bean, I've imagined a little baby boy. A little man to join our little family who will someday be able to defend and protect his little sissy and scare away the bullies. We already have a name pretty much settled on and I've taken to talking to the little guy (in my head) (also, aloud...FINE) and calling him by his not-yet-given name. Also, I may or may not have started coming up with cutesy nicknames and writing his name in the air. WHAT OF IT.

I also might add that several friends and family members have shared that they too think it's a boy (only after I've politely demanded to know their guess immediately). But then a good friend had to go and say he thought it was a girl (and he has an alarmingly accurate intuition...if there is such a thing). And then (THEN!), my parents both had to go and admit that they TOO thought it was a little girl. In fact, my dad's honest to goodness real true words were, "my princess is going to have a little princess!" And he was the one who--just as my head (and not my lady bits) started to appear and ONLY my face was showing-- said "my little princess!" So there's THAT. Come on people! Get with the baby boy program! GAH.

Anyway, the guilt. The guilt is overpowering. Will I be DISAPPOINTED with a baby girl? Hells no! But kinda. Just kidding maybe baby girl!! You're the coolest!

I hesitate to hit publish on this one. Just in case, you know, in 10-15 years little bean is cruising on the ultra-compact, probably hologramed internet and she's all, OMFG, MOM, you suck at life. Except, I'm sure they'll have moved on from Paris Hilton-speak by then. Um, I HOPE.

p.s. Beaner, I love you with every bone and membrane and organ and hair follicle I've got. No matter who you turn out to be. (As long as you love to GO BLUE!) (Just kidding!) (As long as you despise the buckeyes, we are ALL GOOD.) (NOT kidding!)