Thursday, October 1, 2009

The Big Bulge

Well, at 18 weeks, it has finally happened. It being the "yuck" feeling, also known as "OMG. I'm FAT." While logically and rationally, I certainly understand what is happening and I'm somewhat "okay" with the fact that I'm gaining weight (because hello, baby growing in the belly), I AM still a woman living in this world. And in this world, gaining weight is bad and wrong and dreadful. And while technically I've actually lost a few pounds (no idea HOW), the clothes? They're getting tighter. And more uncomfortable. And holy hell get this OFF of me. Which is not fun. In fact, this morning I had such issues getting dressed that I just didn't go to work. "Sorry, can't come in today. I'm busy punching my clothes in the face-hole." Which, if they HAD faces, may have actually happened. Poor, innocent pants. I KILL YOU PANTS.

Anyway, it's a chipper first day of October day over here folks, if you couldn't tell. I do love October though. The crispness, the sweet-smelling air (minus the toxic bus fumes), the colors, the fires, the vests, the college football, the hot chocolate, the other fall-ish things that we all love. Oh, and fall TV. Do not forget fall TV. The feej and I recently acquired (well, purchased) DVR and wow, it's a life changer that little thing. No commercial-watching in this household. I'm probably just preaching to the choir over here though since most people I know got dvr (or tivo--dvr's ugly/bitchy stepmom) when it first came out like 5 years ago. We're slow. What do you want from me? Both Fiji and I were the last to get cell phones in our respective groups of friends as well. And now you should see us: iPhone ADDICTS 101.

Maybe we should talk about the baby now, huh? GEEZ. I hope you aren't all picturing me sitting on the couch watching Rachel Zoe whine while I stuff my face with cookies and hunks of cheese. I mean, you can if you really want, but that wouldn't be completely accurate. And I'm all about accuracy. So, just forget about it.


The babe is 18 weeks and the size of a bell(e) pepper. It can be a belle pepper boy or girl because it's beautiful either way (OKAY French-speakers?!). It's moving it's limbs all about and stuff, so hopefully I will start to feel the little sucker soon. I thought I kinda maybe felt a little something the other day, but who knows. I have been eating a lot of chili lately. People keep describing how it feels in different ways, so I'm just going to wait and see how it feels inside MY lopsided belly. But I really can't wait. There's a PERSON inside of me! I also can't wait until I have a normal looking pregnant belly as opposed to this enlarged and oblong papaya pouch. I'm all lumpy and weird. Not to be confused with an oopma loompa. I'm way too pale for that these days.

p.s. And yes, if you must know, this photo is totally and completely unrelated to the awkward and disjointed story above. BUT, this is Clementine. And I love her. And you should too. I mean, she has a RIBBON in her hair (well, wrapped around her head)! And a heart-shaped eye! I DIE.

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