22 weeks and I'm jusssssssst about to pop. I'm pretty sure this time. I think.
This week the beaner babe is the size of a spaghetti squash and weighs just about 1 lb. ONE POUND. The update informed me that it now looks like a "miniature newborn," which is pretty much what I have been imagining this whole time. My genius is confirmed!
By far, my biggest craving this entire pregnancy has been apples. I like them a lot. A LOT A LOT. And last night Fiji and I watched this PBS program called, "The Botany of Desire" and they focused on four different plants of desire: apples, tulips, cannabis, and potatoes. Pretty random, but I like all of those things! But apples are the coolest. It was really interesting learning about the history of apples (no really, it was) and how they've been planted across the country (thanks Johnny Appleseed!) and learned to adapt to various environments. Also, did you know that if you were to plant an apple seed of an apple that you really like (hint hint: HONEY CRISP), the tree that would grow from that seed would be something totally and completely unrelated to that seed's apple?! Me either! Basically by planting a seed you have no control over what is going to spring up. (This is sounding less interesting...) Anyway, they also talked a whole lot about hard apple cider and WOW do I want some of that. Give it to me! The other sections were interesting as well. And by interesting I mean I fell asleep. But I was really tired, so don't judge.
In other news, our house is in shambles. It's awesome! SLASH I DIE. We've been having roof issues for over 8 months and they have finally begun repairs (just in time for winter!) and here we sit with holes in our walls and ceilings and plastic draping all about. I've tried--and continue to try--to stay positive and hopeful and thankful that the work is even underway, but I'm not a huge fan of dust or dirt or disorganization and, well, that basically defines our home at the moment. Every day I get home and start the process of trying to put our life back together, with the full and complete awareness that it's all going to be taken apart again tomorrow. But, that's just what I need to do so that I can go on dwelling in the madness. A coping mechanism, if you will. So, as I sit and stare at the dust caked on the floor, I remind myself (and my kicking child) that we'll get through this. Together.
(Wow, that really took a turn there.)
To summarize, WAH. (Who's the baby now?)
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Even More Awk
After reading the previous post, Fiji was shocked that I didn't share what he thought was the most awkward (and entertaining...to HIM) aspect of my ultrasound antics. I must've blacked out from the awkness. IDK. But upon being reminded, I decided I had to share. Lucky you!
So, as I'm lying on the "table"--I don't know what else to call that thing, deal with it--and the various baby body parts are being broadcast on the ginormous flat screen on the wall to my left, I'm getting pretty pumped as I realize that our baby is looking, well, normal. Better than normal, in fact--pretty flipping adorable! It's a FACT. So, of course I have to narrate the entire event. OBVS.
Me: That's a pretty good looking head!! Right??
Ultrasound Tech: Slow nod, slow nod.
Me: Ooooh! That's a good looking heart!! And strong, right??
UST: Yes, looks good.
Me: Awww, there's the head!! That's a good looking baby, huh?!
UST: Actually that's the stomach.
Me: Oh, well. Yeah, yeah. I see it now. (No, no I don't.)
Awktown.
Me: Well, that's a good looking stomach! Don't you think?
UST [in an overtly direct tone, I might add]: Yup. (I think she was pretty much over me at this point. Or like, 5 minutes ago. Probably ever since the pants-less situation actually.)
I tried to stop talking but I just couldn't. I wanted to know what was happening! But she was just moving so fast. And using unrecognizable terms and such. However, I do know that the babe's got a 4 chamber heart, two kidneys, a liver, 10 fingers, 10 toes, two arms, two legs, no cleft palate, a strong umbilical cord connection, a nose, two eyes, a mouth, and a bunch of other to-be-expected body parts. WIN!
We debated about whether or not to get the ultrasound--even up to the point where we were in the waiting room AT the ultrasound place. Was it really necessary? Did we really need it? And to be honest, I still don't know. But what I do know is that it made my heart practically burst to be able to see what is going on inside my womb at this very moment. (For some reason it is very hard for me to say womb. Not hard as in, I can't pronounce it or anything. Hard as in, I feel like some homebirth-having-natural-childbirth-hippie or something. And then I remember, oh I AM one of those!) And while I wasn't worried that baby was going to have 2 heads or anything, it was still so thrilling to see that there is a real-live-healthy-baby-child in there just growing and moving and moving and growing and poking and dancing and bouncing and growing. I love this child with my entire being. Like, it fills my whole BODY, not just my heart.
Okay, now you can all go on with your merry lives. But your lives are clearly better for knowing this part of the story. Don't lie, you know it's true. Maybe now is the time to do a round of back-patting. G'ahead. (I literally just did. It felt nice.)
So, as I'm lying on the "table"--I don't know what else to call that thing, deal with it--and the various baby body parts are being broadcast on the ginormous flat screen on the wall to my left, I'm getting pretty pumped as I realize that our baby is looking, well, normal. Better than normal, in fact--pretty flipping adorable! It's a FACT. So, of course I have to narrate the entire event. OBVS.
Me: That's a pretty good looking head!! Right??
Ultrasound Tech: Slow nod, slow nod.
Me: Ooooh! That's a good looking heart!! And strong, right??
UST: Yes, looks good.
Me: Awww, there's the head!! That's a good looking baby, huh?!
UST: Actually that's the stomach.
Me: Oh, well. Yeah, yeah. I see it now. (No, no I don't.)
Awktown.
Me: Well, that's a good looking stomach! Don't you think?
UST [in an overtly direct tone, I might add]: Yup. (I think she was pretty much over me at this point. Or like, 5 minutes ago. Probably ever since the pants-less situation actually.)
I tried to stop talking but I just couldn't. I wanted to know what was happening! But she was just moving so fast. And using unrecognizable terms and such. However, I do know that the babe's got a 4 chamber heart, two kidneys, a liver, 10 fingers, 10 toes, two arms, two legs, no cleft palate, a strong umbilical cord connection, a nose, two eyes, a mouth, and a bunch of other to-be-expected body parts. WIN!
We debated about whether or not to get the ultrasound--even up to the point where we were in the waiting room AT the ultrasound place. Was it really necessary? Did we really need it? And to be honest, I still don't know. But what I do know is that it made my heart practically burst to be able to see what is going on inside my womb at this very moment. (For some reason it is very hard for me to say womb. Not hard as in, I can't pronounce it or anything. Hard as in, I feel like some homebirth-having-natural-childbirth-hippie or something. And then I remember, oh I AM one of those!) And while I wasn't worried that baby was going to have 2 heads or anything, it was still so thrilling to see that there is a real-live-healthy-baby-child in there just growing and moving and moving and growing and poking and dancing and bouncing and growing. I love this child with my entire being. Like, it fills my whole BODY, not just my heart.
Okay, now you can all go on with your merry lives. But your lives are clearly better for knowing this part of the story. Don't lie, you know it's true. Maybe now is the time to do a round of back-patting. G'ahead. (I literally just did. It felt nice.)
Thursday, October 22, 2009
21 Weeks, Still Awkward
We've got one busy baby, I tell you what. Baby is all over the place in there! Probably doing important business such as raising it's arms, stretching it's legs, bending it's knees, poking around my innards, drinking amniotic fluids, etc. Stuff like that. We even got to see the action during the ultrasound--the tech could barely catch the parts she needed to with all the action going on. She seemed a bit ticked off about it too. Baby's already defying authority, so that's promising.
Our tech was totally down to business and not really up for my antics unfortunately. I was a little nervous slash excited when we arrived and as she brought us back to the dimly-lit room she instructed me to get undressed from the waist down. Or that's what I thought she said. So that's exactly what I did. (I debated about whether or not to take off my knee socks but decided it would be best--this wasn't some sort of "Pregnant Women Gone Wild" video after all.) SO. ANYWAY. There I am sitting on the "table" wearing a paper skirt, swinging my legs to and fro like the mature adult that I am and then I start to panic, "Wait, DID she tell me to get undressed? Did I make that up? I thought this whole thing was on the outside? Why would I need to be undressed?" So I asked Fiji, who was of no help whatsoever. THANKS. Well, this might be pretty awkward when she gets back! Long story short(er), she comes in and I'm all, "I was supposed to take off my pants, right? I'm SUPPOSED to be pants-less right now, right?" She looked confused and slightly frightened at first, but then slowly nodded her head in affirmation. THANKFULLY. But then of course I have that whole inability to shut my trap when I'm nervous and/or embarrassed thing and so I'm all, "Oh good. Because that would've been weird. I mean, I'm not wearing any pants! I just couldn't remember what you had said. And then...yeah. Sooooo, anyway. BABY!" So THAT happened.
Our tech was totally down to business and not really up for my antics unfortunately. I was a little nervous slash excited when we arrived and as she brought us back to the dimly-lit room she instructed me to get undressed from the waist down. Or that's what I thought she said. So that's exactly what I did. (I debated about whether or not to take off my knee socks but decided it would be best--this wasn't some sort of "Pregnant Women Gone Wild" video after all.) SO. ANYWAY. There I am sitting on the "table" wearing a paper skirt, swinging my legs to and fro like the mature adult that I am and then I start to panic, "Wait, DID she tell me to get undressed? Did I make that up? I thought this whole thing was on the outside? Why would I need to be undressed?" So I asked Fiji, who was of no help whatsoever. THANKS. Well, this might be pretty awkward when she gets back! Long story short(er), she comes in and I'm all, "I was supposed to take off my pants, right? I'm SUPPOSED to be pants-less right now, right?" She looked confused and slightly frightened at first, but then slowly nodded her head in affirmation. THANKFULLY. But then of course I have that whole inability to shut my trap when I'm nervous and/or embarrassed thing and so I'm all, "Oh good. Because that would've been weird. I mean, I'm not wearing any pants! I just couldn't remember what you had said. And then...yeah. Sooooo, anyway. BABY!" So THAT happened.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
20 weeks: Halftime! (Without the break in action)
Today marks week 20. Wow. I mean, wow. 5 months down, 5 to go. Baby is now the size of a butternut squash (which I happened to eat twice this week in the form of a delicious homemade soup). Or possibly a banana. These two are quite different, if you ask me. But clearly no one did. Jerks.
In other exciting news, this baby is kicking like crazy! Crazy, I tell ya! It's the most incredible, surreal, shocking, and startling feeling I've ever experienced. I mean, I know I should probably get used to the whole concept, but let's just go over this again: There is a LIVING CREATURE growing inside of me at this very moment. RIGHT NOW. Isn't that ODD? It's obviously one of the most--if not THE most--natural processes imaginable, but still. It's wild and unbelievable and I just feel so incredibly blessed that I get to experience all of this. (You might want to remind me of this later...)
Also, the baby is starting to collect poop. So that's nice. The email update today told me that baby's already starting to produce what will be it's first bowel movement. That's a lot of holding it in there, don't you think? Um, 5 months? It also mentioned that sometimes the baby actually poops INSIDE my body during labor. Also, I might poop during labor. (SICK.) That's like a double-decker poop taco. Sounds lovely. (Hope you weren't eating lunch or dinner or anything. Especially not Taco Bell!)
In less-gross news, this is the first weekend we're home and partly without plans in what will end up being about 10 weeks. This means we get to organize (!) and clean closets (!) and NEST (!!) and do the stuff that keeps me awake at night making lists upon lists in my head. I'm embarrassingly excited about this. I pretty much love to tidy up (sometimes even in other people's homes, which can be awk), but I also have a serious and apparently incurable case of pack-rat-itis and a hard core sentimentality which equals a whole lot of seemingly (but NOT) useless stuff. I mean, how do you know I won't NEED that stationary collection someday soon? Or that fairy sticker book? Or that little pouch of rocks and glitter? Or the dried petals from the first bouquet Bradley ever gave to me. YOU DON'T. But what it boils down to is that I can't bear to lose the memories that seem to so easily slip away. And since my memory is worse than that of a dogs (whose memory refreshes each 20 minutes, in case you didn't know), I need those little tchotchkes, those little tokens, those little treasures from days long ago, from experiences and trips and moments that made me who I am today.
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(Still waiting for the POP...but there's a babe in there, I SWEAR.)
In other exciting news, this baby is kicking like crazy! Crazy, I tell ya! It's the most incredible, surreal, shocking, and startling feeling I've ever experienced. I mean, I know I should probably get used to the whole concept, but let's just go over this again: There is a LIVING CREATURE growing inside of me at this very moment. RIGHT NOW. Isn't that ODD? It's obviously one of the most--if not THE most--natural processes imaginable, but still. It's wild and unbelievable and I just feel so incredibly blessed that I get to experience all of this. (You might want to remind me of this later...)
Also, the baby is starting to collect poop. So that's nice. The email update today told me that baby's already starting to produce what will be it's first bowel movement. That's a lot of holding it in there, don't you think? Um, 5 months? It also mentioned that sometimes the baby actually poops INSIDE my body during labor. Also, I might poop during labor. (SICK.) That's like a double-decker poop taco. Sounds lovely. (Hope you weren't eating lunch or dinner or anything. Especially not Taco Bell!)
In less-gross news, this is the first weekend we're home and partly without plans in what will end up being about 10 weeks. This means we get to organize (!) and clean closets (!) and NEST (!!) and do the stuff that keeps me awake at night making lists upon lists in my head. I'm embarrassingly excited about this. I pretty much love to tidy up (sometimes even in other people's homes, which can be awk), but I also have a serious and apparently incurable case of pack-rat-itis and a hard core sentimentality which equals a whole lot of seemingly (but NOT) useless stuff. I mean, how do you know I won't NEED that stationary collection someday soon? Or that fairy sticker book? Or that little pouch of rocks and glitter? Or the dried petals from the first bouquet Bradley ever gave to me. YOU DON'T. But what it boils down to is that I can't bear to lose the memories that seem to so easily slip away. And since my memory is worse than that of a dogs (whose memory refreshes each 20 minutes, in case you didn't know), I need those little tchotchkes, those little tokens, those little treasures from days long ago, from experiences and trips and moments that made me who I am today.
Oh, and we have a LABEL MAKER. And I plan to label the shit out of some stuff this weekend. Get PUMPED!
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(Still waiting for the POP...but there's a babe in there, I SWEAR.)Monday, October 12, 2009
It's ALIVE!
Well, not that I didn't know that already. What, with the heartbeat and the bulging tummy and such. But it was confirmed again and again today as I felt soft, yet indisputable, kicks! Baby kicks! It mostly felt like the babe was tapping (tap-tap-tapparoo) my insides saying, "helloooooooooooo out there!" To which I responded, "hi babyyyyyyy!" It was quite the in-depth conversation. But oh-so thrilling. SO.
I have been feeling similar sensations for a few weeks now, but not consistently enough to be able to confidently define said sensations as the babe. Gas, maybe. But now? Now I know. The little life growing inside of me is making himself known. And I like it. I like it A LOT.
If I was much of a squealer, that's what I'd be doing right this very moment. I'm so madly in love.
I have been feeling similar sensations for a few weeks now, but not consistently enough to be able to confidently define said sensations as the babe. Gas, maybe. But now? Now I know. The little life growing inside of me is making himself known. And I like it. I like it A LOT.
If I was much of a squealer, that's what I'd be doing right this very moment. I'm so madly in love.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Nearing the End of the Teen Weeks
Check that out: baby yoga IN UTERO. Impressive!I'm trying to talk to the babe more and more because it can hear me, but mostly all I can think of to say is, "Hi baby! I love you!" But this morning in the shower we had a pretty deep (one-sided) conversation about how much I enjoy warm showers but don't like getting out and getting dressed. In fact, I may have used the words, "hate" and "despise" and "it's SO cold!" But maybe not. Only me and the babe will ever know. Take that! We (well, me) also made references to hating the NPR fund drive. "They claim it's SO SHORT but they lie! LYING LIARS." I hope I'm not corrupting this child. At least not yet, geeeeeeeez.
Not only is the babe's hearing developing, but also the other important senses ("His brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch"), which I find to be super duper awesome. In fact the babycenter update said that her senses are "exploding," which I find somewhat frightening. But I'm over it. And while I may have had a few sips of wine (and champagne, FINE) last week (it was our anniversary, Judgey McGee!), no mas for now. We want this baby to have all of it's senses and for them to be highly developed. Except, now that I think of it, is that why I'm a HSP (highly sensitive person)? My senses are too highly developed? Eh shit. Maybe I will booze it up instead.
In other news, it's my little brother's birthday today. When I was writing his card (slash gift) (just kidding!), I got all weepy thinking about him growing up. I mean, not that he's not already a grown-up. At 28, I sure hope so. In all reality, he's actually more of a grown-up than I am in various business-y ways. Except I'm married and pregnant and stuff. So, I'm a pretty big deal when it comes to the grown-up department. (I wonder how many more times I can write "grown-up?") Anyway, he's been a great little brother. He used to get me snacks whenever I asked. And relinquish control of the remote. And basically let me steal quarters from him for my candy addiction. (Actually, I'm not sure he's aware of that. But he was always the richest in the family! Since age 5. No joke. He was the first to get a CD player! And he was 10! And how many quarters does a 5-year-old really need?!) The weepiness started as I reflected on how charming and funny and smart he's turned out to be. (OMG, I'm tearing up again.) But seriously, I'm just proud to be his sister. And I'm especially excited to see him tomorrow! In his city. And for him to let me peek into his life. With his babes. And to remember how lucky I am to be his friend.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
La Premiere An
One year ago today, I married my most favorite person in the whole galaxy. Without a doubt, the best decision I've ever made. If this year was the hardest, I can't wait for forever.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The Big Bulge
Well, at 18 weeks, it has finally happened. It being the "yuck" feeling, also known as "OMG. I'm FAT." While logically and rationally, I certainly understand what is happening and I'm somewhat "okay" with the fact that I'm gaining weight (because hello, baby growing in the belly), I AM still a woman living in this world. And in this world, gaining weight is bad and wrong and dreadful. And while technically I've actually lost a few pounds (no idea HOW), the clothes? They're getting tighter. And more uncomfortable. And holy hell get this OFF of me. Which is not fun. In fact, this morning I had such issues getting dressed that I just didn't go to work. "Sorry, can't come in today. I'm busy punching my clothes in the face-hole." Which, if they HAD faces, may have actually happened. Poor, innocent pants. I KILL YOU PANTS.
Anyway, it's a chipper first day of October day over here folks, if you couldn't tell. I do love October though. The crispness, the sweet-smelling air (minus the toxic bus fumes), the colors, the fires, the vests, the college football, the hot chocolate, the other fall-ish things that we all love. Oh, and fall TV. Do not forget fall TV. The feej and I recently acquired (well, purchased) DVR and wow, it's a life changer that little thing. No commercial-watching in this household. I'm probably just preaching to the choir over here though since most people I know got dvr (or tivo--dvr's ugly/bitchy stepmom) when it first came out like 5 years ago. We're slow. What do you want from me? Both Fiji and I were the last to get cell phones in our respective groups of friends as well. And now you should see us: iPhone ADDICTS 101.
Maybe we should talk about the baby now, huh? GEEZ. I hope you aren't all picturing me sitting on the couch watching Rachel Zoe whine while I stuff my face with cookies and hunks of cheese. I mean, you can if you really want, but that wouldn't be completely accurate. And I'm all about accuracy. So, just forget about it.
GAH! The BABE!
The babe is 18 weeks and the size of a bell(e) pepper. It can be a belle pepper boy or girl because it's beautiful either way (OKAY French-speakers?!). It's moving it's limbs all about and stuff, so hopefully I will start to feel the little sucker soon. I thought I kinda maybe felt a little something the other day, but who knows. I have been eating a lot of chili lately. People keep describing how it feels in different ways, so I'm just going to wait and see how it feels inside MY lopsided belly. But I really can't wait. There's a PERSON inside of me! I also can't wait until I have a normal looking pregnant belly as opposed to this enlarged and oblong papaya pouch. I'm all lumpy and weird. Not to be confused with an oopma loompa. I'm way too pale for that these days.
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p.s. And yes, if you must know, this photo is totally and completely unrelated to the awkward and disjointed story above. BUT, this is Clementine. And I love her. And you should too. I mean, she has a RIBBON in her hair (well, wrapped around her head)! And a heart-shaped eye! I DIE.
Anyway, it's a chipper first day of October day over here folks, if you couldn't tell. I do love October though. The crispness, the sweet-smelling air (minus the toxic bus fumes), the colors, the fires, the vests, the college football, the hot chocolate, the other fall-ish things that we all love. Oh, and fall TV. Do not forget fall TV. The feej and I recently acquired (well, purchased) DVR and wow, it's a life changer that little thing. No commercial-watching in this household. I'm probably just preaching to the choir over here though since most people I know got dvr (or tivo--dvr's ugly/bitchy stepmom) when it first came out like 5 years ago. We're slow. What do you want from me? Both Fiji and I were the last to get cell phones in our respective groups of friends as well. And now you should see us: iPhone ADDICTS 101.
Maybe we should talk about the baby now, huh? GEEZ. I hope you aren't all picturing me sitting on the couch watching Rachel Zoe whine while I stuff my face with cookies and hunks of cheese. I mean, you can if you really want, but that wouldn't be completely accurate. And I'm all about accuracy. So, just forget about it.
GAH! The BABE!
The babe is 18 weeks and the size of a bell(e) pepper. It can be a belle pepper boy or girl because it's beautiful either way (OKAY French-speakers?!). It's moving it's limbs all about and stuff, so hopefully I will start to feel the little sucker soon. I thought I kinda maybe felt a little something the other day, but who knows. I have been eating a lot of chili lately. People keep describing how it feels in different ways, so I'm just going to wait and see how it feels inside MY lopsided belly. But I really can't wait. There's a PERSON inside of me! I also can't wait until I have a normal looking pregnant belly as opposed to this enlarged and oblong papaya pouch. I'm all lumpy and weird. Not to be confused with an oopma loompa. I'm way too pale for that these days.
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p.s. And yes, if you must know, this photo is totally and completely unrelated to the awkward and disjointed story above. BUT, this is Clementine. And I love her. And you should too. I mean, she has a RIBBON in her hair (well, wrapped around her head)! And a heart-shaped eye! I DIE.
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