Thursday, September 10, 2009

Apple Baby

We made our very first baby-related purchase, and it was a big one: the crib. It's still sitting disassembled in the den (slash nursery-to-be) but it's fun to go sneak-a-peek (also known as stare at it in disbelief.) We have a crib. A CRIB. That a baby will be sleeping in. A BABY. A baby that according to the Chinese Lunar Calendar is a girl. But who the flip cares. It's a real, live baby child. Plus, despite widely held beliefs, the Asians don't know EVERYTHING. In fact, I've now had two dreams about a shaggy-haired darling little boy. (Which, come to think of it, could've possibly been a girl. What, with the hair and all...)

In other news, I'm 15 weeks today. Someone tried to confuse me by saying I'm 15 weeks along, but the baby is only 13 weeks old. I told them to GET BENT. I have no need for that nonsense. All I know is that there is a baby the size of an apple in there (preferably a pink fact, I just ate one. Uh, again with the weirdness...) and it loves me so much it likes to sit on my bladder all night. And I love it too, despite the bladder thing. That's exactly what I told the apple baby this morning: "I love you apple baby, even though sometimes the steady, slow trickle in the middle of the night makes me want to sleep on the bathroom floor so I don't have to walk as far to take care of the non-business that I think I need to take care of, but really I don't because you're just camped out like a little camper on my not-even-full-bladder. But then I just go back to sleep and get to dream of you and it's like nothing ever happened and we're totally bestests again and balance is restored to the universe. So yeah, kisses!"

So, we leave for Portland today. Portland, Oregon, for those of you who for some unknown reason think that we would be going to Portland, Maine. I mean, who really goes to Portland, Maine? (Besides my uncle, who lives there, and maybe some other people. Yes, I know. It's a nice place. Been there.) Anyway, tomorrow we're going on a bike tour of the city--exciting! The other people wanted to go on a Vineyard Bike Tour and I was all, "Um, no thanks." COME ON people. Do our lives have to revolve around booze or WHAT?! I mean, yes, FINE, I wanted to go on that like 4 months ago before I knew about the baby apple. Also, it still sounds fun and pretty and nice and all. But I'm much more mature now. MUCH. Very, very much. Ask the Feej. He'll tell you all about it.

While in Portland we are also going to Eugene (yes! hippies!) for the Purdue vs. Oregon football game. I am even wearing Purdue colors. (Although I secretly wanted to pack my GO BLUE shirt for fun. But then I remembered how this one time I wrote a list about all the things that annoy me--there were a LOT--and one of them was when people at sporting events wear team shirts that support neither of the teams that are actually playing. GAH. The nerve! So I didn't.) Anyway, my point (ish) is that the game starts at 7:15 PST, which is 9:15 CST, which is also known as BED TIME in the TillyFeej household. And I'm not even kidding. Even pre-pregs. Sad, very sad, but true. So anyway, do some math, add in the hour drive (in a party bus--SOBER), plus the time it takes to actually play the game, and basically you come out with a very tired, very cranky, probably hungry (it's a safe bet), possibly passed-out pregnant lady wearing a Michigan t-shirt for no reason. Sounds fun, huh?!

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