Thursday, November 26, 2009

Grateful

I woke up this morning feeling sentimental and grateful for so much and so many. My list includes the usual suspects: my understanding husband, my generous family, my supportive friends, my good health, and the love and joy that surround me. But this year it also includes the precious blessing growing inside of me. It still amazes me, each and every day, that I get to experience this delight and wonder. I am so incredibly thankful for so many things, but especially for God's grace.

Many years ago, my Mom gave me a tiny frame that I plan to share with my children someday. It reads, "You are among the precious gifts that God has given to me." It has always found a home in my bedroom wherever I was living throughout the years and now sits atop my dresser. I glance at it at least once a day and the emotion it continues to evoke in me each time I read those words is that of peace and thanksgiving. And that is what I wish for each of you on this day and every day to come.

p.s. The bean is the size of an "English hothouse cucumber." So there's also that.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

99 days!

It's double-digit time people! Insane in the membrane (insane in the brain). So yeah, that's happening. I honestly can't quite believe it. And I'm really, REALLY trying not to freak out too much about it and the fact that there are like a million gazillion things left to do on my mental to-do list. I mean, for starters, our house is still a disaster-zone chock full of strangers in and out all day and loud banging noises on the roof constantly. I try to be positive and be all, "Well this means that actual work is getting done." But that lasts all of 2.2 seconds and I'm back to wanting to slap them silly. But not violently or anything. SILLily.

The babe is almost 26 weeks (will be on Thanksgiving--talk about thankful!) and I haven't even peeked to see what fascinating fruit or vegetable it will be this week. So you'll just have to wait along with me. DEAL WITH IT. I'm really looking like a pregnant lady these days and it's all maternity clothes from here on out. I ordered a bunch online--which could be risky--but seems to have worked out just fine so far. I haven't yet had the (unpleasant) experience of strangers feeling my belly--thank GOD. I am not sure how I'll handle that, but I'll be sure to report back.

After staying in a hotel for several nights I was again reminded how ornery I really am. For instance, we'd be riding the elevator down in the morning to get our free continental breakfast and of course other people would also need to be getting into the elevator to go eat their breakfasts (the NERVE!) and I would practically take it personally. They'd be all chipper and chatty and I'd grimace as if they were pulling out my toenails. Fiji took one for the team and was the friendly passenger while I stared at the carpet on the walls (literally--carpet walls). Once we'd sit down with our raisin bran and yogurt, I'd wonder, "Why do I hate people so much!?" This poor child.

So anyway, enough about me and my issues. Let's talk about how the baby moves around a TON all day long and how much I love it! I do think we've got a shy little one because most of the time when Fiji goes to feel the kicks and punches and swishes, it stops. What a little sneaker.

I'm pretty sure that the second trimester is up kinda soon, which means I'm heading into the third trimester (just in case you weren't able to follow that progression). So that's exciting. Also, frightening. How did this happen?

In other extraordinary and exciting news, one of my best friends just had her little baby girl, Lola. I'm smitten. She is just so incredibly precious and I'm already ridiculously in love with her. As in, Addicted with a capital A. If I'm this in love with someone else's child, I can only imagine what will happen when it's my own. Mine. (Well, and Fiji's. FINE.)

Thursday, November 19, 2009

A Staycation of Sorts

So, I'm back from the lovely land of Florida and I'm pretty sure Chicago and I are in a fight. Poor cold, dreary, wet Chicago. She just doesn't have much of a chance in this love triangle.

And now the hub and I (and the beaner, of course) are having a "staycation" of sorts. And by staycation I mean forced evacuation from our home. Either way, I'm trying to be positive about it and such. Which, if you hadn't noticed, I'm not particularly skilled at regarding this home renovation situation. But I'm trying. Anyway, I'm currently sitting in our hotel room downtown and housekeeping just left. Why is it so awkward when someone else is cleaning up "your" room? I had to resist the urge to get up and help. I was like, do you want me to leave? And she's all, no. So then I just got out of the way as much as possible while she made my bed and stuff. (Wow, this is a great story so far, no?)

I can literally (LI.TER.A.LLY) see the hub's office (and desk!) from my perch. It's very cool. This morning after he left for the office, I watched him (from 12 stories up) walk to work, which was nice. And quite domestic of me (uh, from our hotel room). Then he got into his office and turned on the light and I immediately IM'ed him, I CAN SEE YOU. Creepy much? We waved (well, I waved...probably for longer than necessary) and then I let him get back to work. Then we met for lunch after my workout and swim. I really REALLY wanted to get in the jacuzzi (FINE, I got it up to my knees), but a big sign was taunting me saying no pregnant ladies allowed.

We had our 25 week appointment with the midwife last night and baby's heart rate is right around 140-150. When I first heard the heartbeat I laughed outloud--it's just still so thrilling!--and it went up to about 160bpm, which she noted was good variability. So yay bean. I'm measuring just about on track as well. AND she said I have a nice bump--heyo! The beaner kicks so much and I just love it too much. When I'm riding the train alone I have to remind myself that strangers don't care that there is a person moving around inside of me, so I just smile (as not-crazily/creepily* as possible) to myself and keep my mouth shut.The bean is 25 weeks along today and the size of a RUTABAGA! How fun is that?! If we could get up in there and take a picture we might be able to tell what color the hair is! Also, I took this silly little online quiz and Madame Zaritska informed me that:

The day you deliver, outside will be foggy. Your baby will arrive in the late morning. After a labor lasting approximately 14 hours, your child, a boy (TOLD YA), will be born. Your baby will weigh about 5 pounds, 15 ounces, and will be 18 1/2 inches long. This child will have dark brown eyes and a lot of brown hair.

Now, before you go all crazy on my ass, I realize this is all for fun and I'm not actually depending on this internet lady to predict my labor experience and child's sex, but honestly, I'm pretty stoked! I mean, one of the questions was "do you like broccoli?" So clearly exceedingly scientific.

I realize that I haven't really gotten into much about the choices we are making for the labor and delivery, but as we approach the "3 months to go" marker, I feel like I should. I want to. I want to document these decisions and the reasons behind them so that I can share and so that we can remember this amazing time in our lives when we started truly thinking of someone else--someone precious--rather than just ourselves.

*these are real words--I LOOKED IT UP.

Monday, November 16, 2009

The Bean and The Beach

We've decided that the beaner loves the beach just as much as his parents do. (Sidenote: I just wrote "his" without even thinking about it AT ALL. Sign?) So, the beach in November is pretty much the coolest thing ever. What's not so cool is not applying sunscreen to your pale-ass-Chicago-self and ending up with ridiculous raccoon eyes and halter-strap chest marks. The sun was warm, but it's NOVEMBER! I just figured it'd be fine. Luckily, we've been to the beach two more times (in three days!) and it's all balanced out and I can proudly say I have what some may consider a slight to very slight tan. I mean, there are tan LINES. So there's that.

In addition to the awesomeness of the beach, we get to hang out with the bestests! All day! And night! And take bike rides! And see live music! And eat yummy foods! And wear sundresses--SO comfy! And read! And drink decaf! It's just been so great that it needed all those "!'s" The boys have been making dinner and even doing the dishes while us ladies just laze about and discuss weddings and babies. Because that's what ladies do when they are engaged and pregnant. And even when they're not. Because we're LADIES.

What's not been so great is the fact that Fiji had to leave today (I changed my flight to stay longer due to all the house disaster-ness that is going on--lucky me). But it's just not the same without him in our little group. I kept thinking that I was forgetting something, but realized it was just him that I was missing. (Cue: Awwwwww. Or Blech. Depending on your attitude and level of wanting to ruin my life.) While I'm thrilled beyond belief that I get to stay here in this sunshine state with my best friends and their adorably charming and NOT disaster-filled house, I miss my boy. Upon returning to the chaos, he found that the contractors are way behind in their initial predictions that all would be complete by tomorrow morning. SHOCKER. I want to punch them in the necks! Just get it done already! GEE WHIZ. Anyway, the feej will be staying in a hotel for a few nights...as will I upon my return to the cold and dreary land. Boo.

In other news, like, say, baby news...last week the babe became an ear of corn. And it can totally hear all that going on around it. It's also been kicking up a storm and Fiji has been able to feel it a bunch of times now--super fun. It seemed that as soon as I arrived in Florida my tummy just exploded. Random folks are now saying slightly inappropriate things about my belly so I think I've crossed some sort of pregnant-lady-threshold. Which is nice. One dude noted that I'd had too many beers lately. To which I responded, "Not enough, actually!" It makes me happy to have this preg belly (6 months later!), despite how much I may complain about being "fat" to the hub. I mean, it's just so crazy looking sometimes.

I must apologize in advance for the jealousy that is about to commence in your soul upon viewing these images. If you saw my house, you would understand that I have to hold onto whatever it is that makes me smile. And right now, it is this:

And this:


And these peeps:


And what is INSIDE this:p.s. I may not ever come back...except to collect hub and maybe a few more outfits.
p.p.s. It was more than hilarious trying to squeeze the "ladies" into my suit. I mean, WOWZA.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Mango!

Today the babe is the size of a mango. How fun!! MANGO! I love mangoes. I really do. But I especially love this little mango.

Big news of the week is that the lung development is kicking it up a notch. Also, the pancreas is growing. (I may or may not have just googled "pancreas function" to find out what that thing really does. Answer: lots of stuff.) The babe is also still hovering around 11-12 inches, and hovering above one pound. Sooooo, not much different than last week. But still. BIG.

Reading various "mommy" blogs or "mommy-to-be" blogs has become my new past-time. It's real wild and crazy over here these days folks. Nonstop rager. The reading of these blogs is simultaneously overwhelming, exciting, frustrating, and encouraging. This whole pregnancy thing is a globally-shared experience, while also being so unique. (This is getting pretty prophetic, watch out.) It helps to be reminded that other women go through these same emotions, these same fears, these same body critiques, these same kicking sensations, these same joyful connections, the same disbelief about growing another individual inside of you while you just go about your life. But, yet, each one of us experiences it in our own ways, in our own special and unique bodies, in our own families and relationships with our partners. But sometimes it's hard. And sometimes you cry yourself to sleep at night because your baby's future bedroom is STILL missing walls and ceilings. And sometimes you just don't feel like getting out of bed. And sometimes you worry. And sometimes you might even throw yourself a little pity party.

But that's when I force myself to remember: we are creating life. CREATING LIFE.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The Sweet Tooth

While I like to believe that I am a healthy-eater (pre-preg and currently), I tend to have what some may describe as "self-control issues" that range from serious to quite serious, especially when it comes to sweets since I've become pregnant. For instance, last night after our random (yet reasonably healthy) dinner of leftover chili, plantains, and a pear, I waited a standard amount of time (~45 minutes) before requesting my "treat." Fiji retrieved the leftover brownies from the previous night's dinner at a friend's house. There were 4 brownies left. Now, granted, a couple were what I would consider to be "small." I would draw the approximate size for you, but I suck at drawing. (And painting and watercolor, if you wanted to know.) ANYWAY. I had one. And then shortly after I had another. But that was where I drew the line. Two for me, two for the boy. That's fair. FINE, mine were the bigger ones. But he doesn't care. Honest (right, babe?).

After we finished watching the DVR'ed (yes, we're still in love) episode of Mad Men, my eyes started to wander back to those remaining two brownies. Was I hungry? Not really. But the desire to eat them was growing and they were just sitting there taunting me. Fiji wasn't making any indication that he was going to eat his share and I was so distracted by those little chocolate chip goodies that I could literally feel my will-power shrinking by the minute. When Fiji got up to fill his water, I took that as my chance and just WENT AFTER IT. My main goal was to get the brownie down without Fiji noticing, which was clearly my first mistake. (Or, well, my second. My first was probably eating the brownie in the first place. MOVING ON.) I basically stuffed that thing in my mouth without even enjoying it! GAH. And of course, OF COURSE, Fiji turns around probably when he hears the commotion and plastic bag rustling, just to see what I've gotten myself into. I am such a child. I immediately stop chewing and do a little closed-mouth smile at my kind husband as if to say, "Nothing to see over here. Avert your pretty little gaze!" He, of course, instantly knows something is up. And pretty much instantly knows WHAT exactly it is that is up. I'm eating his brownie. He's calling me out before he even gets back to the couch, "Didn't think I would notice?!" I'm laughing so hard with a mouthful of brownie that I can barely contain it. The brownie, that is. I want to keep all of that deliciousness in my mouth, after all. I am forced to bow my head and turn away, ashamed.

And then I had a stomach ache (AND complained about it!) for the rest of the night.

Lesson learned: two brownies is more than enough.